Christmas 2004

Last night at our annual Yakker barkada Christmas party, I tuned out and concentrated on watching "13 going on 30" on DVD. I was in my own world, laughing and crying at those pretty, little scenes while everyone else chattered, ate, and giggled. Now, I'm not quite sure why I did that or why I felt like doing that. But for sure, I felt content and happy.

It wasn't because I didn't like the crowd; in fact, they were my favorite people in the planet. But last night--I don't know-- maybe I was tired from the whole day shopping or the flick was so engaging, but I just felt like doing my own thing.

It's hard to do your own thing during the holiday season, when you're at the mercy of parties galore and Christmas traditions. You have to do this, go to that place, buy a gift for whomever-- the list just goes on. Of course there are also the nice things, like you get to see your friends, eat all that yummy food, and buy clothes and shoes with your Christmas bonus. But really, sometimes I feel like I'm forced to enjoy eating all that food, or to scour the tiangges just in case I find another potential gift.

Enough is enough. And I guess, last night, the real me forced herself out of all that colorful Christmas mess and longed to be quiet. For sure, it was all in bad timing because I was with my treasured friends, but in a way, I'm happy that it happened when I was with them. Because I knew that at that moment, I'd rather be surrounded by their happy noise than anything else.