ovaltine sandwiches

maundy thursday

2009-04-09T12:21:00.003+08:00

It has already been a week and a day since I've returned. So many learnings, discoveries, friends, etc., etc.

I've been trying to adjust to reality again, and it's not so easy. Lately, I've been coping by bouncing from Facebook to Multiply, and trying to get some work done in between. Glued all the travel mementos on my journal (my way of jumpstarting the reality check), scrubbed all my travel bags clean, and stored them away. The only thing left to do is upload the Finland, Estonia, and Santorini photos on Multiply...but really, do I need to? We'll see later.

My goal today is to write (for personal fulfillment, not work) some more, possibly hit the stationary bike, and to basically make muni-muni.

A peaceful holy week to everyone!

yeah nodame!

2009-02-28T20:44:00.004+08:00

Finished watching all the episodes of nodame cantabile (including the 2-part special)! It made me want to study piano again.

Honestly, I could relate to the character (though I don't play half as good as her--hay, maski 1/8 as good as her) 'coz I hated reading notes. Super hated it. So I ended up memorizing the pieces and playing them by ear. My piano teacher was too lax (she'd fall asleep in the middle of the lesson) and allowed me to put the notes' names (do, re, mi...) on the sheet, instead of sight-reading them. Oh well, I can't put all the blame on her. I was just too lazy too.

But I studied piano for 6 years and had 3 or 4 recitals. I quit when I entered highschool because I'd grown tired of it.

Watching Nodame made me want to learn the classical pieces, instead of constantly playing my own (so basic) renditions of Boys Don't Cry or Whatever Possessed You. On a musical high!

yoga bear

2009-02-28T17:26:00.005+08:00

thank goodness for yoga.

i suck at some poses, but i think it has helped me to relax, especially in times of stress. i love the meditation part; it teaches me to be quiet and still for even just a few minutes.

the super truth is...

2009-02-22T19:32:00.003+08:00

going to europe is something i feel that i have to do more than what i want to do. ain't that weird? it's just that it's been written in my "dream notebook" for so long that i think it's time to cross it out.

the super truth is that it's more comfy to stay here and bask in the engagement season, and just work hard to fatten up that wedding bank account (instead of giving up rakets when i'm away). and of course, to see spanks most of the time. (the e-heads' "fine time" is playing in my head).

but here's the deal: if i don't go now, my future self is gonna hate me for it. and the present conditions are favorable--i'm not married yet, my travel buddy has european contacts whom we can live with, and i've got cash to spend (for the trip, that is. once i get back, i'll be starting from scratch). honestly, up until the visa interview, i was more than willing to just let go of the trip if things went awry. but it didn't; the interview was effortless...so i'm taking it as a sign that i should go.

so anyway, now that i'm going, i'm focusing on the good energy. live in each moment as best as i can. because it doesn't matter where i am, what's important is that i rejoice in the opportunities given to me. maybe i need this; i don't want it right now, but maybe it's what i need.

as my philo teacher said: kailangan nating umalis para makabalik. i'm looking forward to coming home.

*******

in other news, it was my highschool prom 17 years ago. gawd, that's equivalent to a whole, new high school student, currently experiencing his/her own prom.

posting the result

2009-02-17T06:51:00.003+08:00

my schengen visa was approved.

of course, thanks to jayhoho, who preceded me in the interview, and told the consul that I was traveling with him. thanks to his past numerous schengen visas and impressive travel record.

I was called into the office after him, and this was what happened in my interview:

CONSUL: Good morning!

ME: Uhh...good morning.

CONSUL: (looking at my certificate of employment) So you work in a kids' show?

ME: Uhh...yes.

CONSUL: Ok, I talked to your friend already. You requested for a 30-day visa; I'm giving you 40 days. That's it. You may go.

ME: (Huh?) Uhhh...ok! Thank you! Have a nice day! (exit the room, grinning from ear to ear)

now, we busy ourselves squeezing in work while preparing everything before march 3. thanks, universe!

one day at a time

2009-02-11T12:21:00.004+08:00

i'm trying not to hold my breath for this possibly wonderful but challenging personal event this march. whatever the result, i promise to post about it. i am just so thankful for other people's support, love, and understanding. in the meantime, i shall have to remember to breathe in...and to breathe out.

yesterday, had fun cleaning the pad with s. i concentrated on the bathroom, scrubbing the sink, tiles, toilet and other fixtures as hard as i could. but some stains were just too tough. i'm no cleaning expert, but sometimes, i do enjoy cleaning. it clears the mind, and i feel so zen (whatever that means).

after all that hard work, there's no sweeter reward than taking a shower in the bathroom you've cleaned yourself.

10/10/10

2009-02-04T08:36:00.005+08:00

yuck, sumisilip yung ngipin ko sa bibig. tsk, panira.

rants

2009-01-27T08:45:00.003+08:00

ang daming fears. or maybe it's because i'm in the PMS stage.

tried yoga for the first time last saturday, and it left me feeling calm, aware...and a bit more confused. i really shouldn't make decisions when i'm about to have my period.

the unexpected amazing race

2009-01-22T05:34:00.006+08:00

My mom is a great fan of PAL-akbayan, the PAL package tours, which include airfare, accomodations, free breakfasts and airport transfers. So when they advertised their new destinations and rates in the papers late last year, my mom reserved for the Cagayan de Oro trip.

It was supposedly a family affair, but one by one, my kuyas and sisters-in-law backed out, and my mom and I were the only ones left. Anyhoo, it was a simple 3 days, 2 nights trip and we left January 9, to be back in Manila on January 11.

A few days before the trip, we found out that CDO's main attraction is Camiguin, which required a 2-hour bus ride from the city, and another 2-hour ferry ride from the port. So that's what we did after touching down CDO. It was already a trip beyond our comfort zone 'cause we were left to fend for our selves. We had to hunt for the right bus in the crowded terminal, deal with the ferry's erratic scheds, and figure out how to get to the resort once we're on the island.

Now, my mom ain't exactly young--she's 70, and I've realized that she's not the same quick-thinking, fast-on-her-feet lady that she used to be. Although she's still bibo (managing to wheedle out the ferry guard's cell number so we can verify the sched for our return trip), she forgets the names of our destinations, and when she alights a bus, or a trike or a ferry, she stands still for a few seconds, not knowing where to go. But don't get me wrong, she's still sharp... she's just not as sharp.

Our Camiguin overnight trip went okay and we got back to CDO without hassles. The next day, we were bound for Manila. A worry-free trip. Or so we thought.

The next day, we woke up to the steady pitter-patter of rain, and foggy skies. Big deal, we thought. It wasn't as if it was stormy. We took a last-minute trip to LimketKai, and noticed that the water was rising--the makings of a flood. Our cab driver informed us that CDO flooded easily 'cause of the Cagayan river--and later, we found out from the radio news, it was also because of deforestation. We also found out that the earlier flights were cancelled because of the fog.

So we went to the mall, and mom, fore-seeing another extra night in the hotel if our flight got cancelled, withdrew from the ATM machine. And whaddyaknow, the machine ate her card. So with little cash, we cut our shopping short, and headed back to the hotel. By this time, the cab maneuvered around main streets because of the impassable floods.

In the afternoon, we still checked out and went to the airport, just in case. True enough, the flight was cancelled, and people were panicking to resched their flights. The day-after flights were full, and mom, using her usual "old-lady" charm went inside the manager's office (after ignoring the guard who barred her way) and convinced the "powers-that-were" that she was too old and penniless to be given a flight after 2 days. Now, these airlines always have "secret" extra seats for VIPs, and somehow, mom managed to get us those seats.

To cut a long story short (ang haba na nito!!), flights were still cancelled the following day. But we managed to withdraw from the bank (over the counter). I was already doing my work (checking scripts) on the hotel's computer. The hotel staff warned us that weather was going to worsen the next couple of days. That's when we decided to take a land trip to Davao, and fly from there to Manila.

Since we had relatives in Davao, we decided to stay there for 2 days before going home. At first, PAL wasn't too keen on the full refund because of our extra-2 day stay, but my cousin told them, "Maawa naman kayo sa pasahero! 70 years old na yun. Syempre kailangan niyang magpahinga pagkatapos ng biyahe from CDO!" Pumayag naman ang PAL.

We left at around 3 pm and arrived in Davao at midnight. During the trip, I could see how mom was so tired and cold and dizzy (from the zigzags). Clearly, this type of adventure wasn't suitable for her age. I even put my feet on hers 'cause they were freezing.

Our cousin picked us up from the terminal and when we got to her house, we tumbled into bed, exhausted.

The next day was fun. We met with other relatives, shopped, and ate galore. We were taking the last flight the following day so we could have more time for lakwatsa.

But lo and behold, the next day, my cousin came down with fever and we were stuck at home. So bored. My mom and I took a cab to Aldevinco and she bought some pasalubongs, went home then waited for our flight. PAL called to inform that the flight was one hour delayed. So we waited some more. Finally, we went to the airport after an early dinner, and boarded the plane at 8 pm. We got home at midnight.

And that's how our 3-day, supposed "ladies-who-lunch" kind of trip (no surprises, no effort) turned into an almost week-long "on-the-go, go-with-the-flow" adventure. I've pictured taking this kind of trips with friends, not with my mom...who, strangely enough, enjoyed the whole experience, relishing the much-needed "bonding time" with her not-so-patient and quick-tempered daughter. Thanks, mommy.

Thanks, 2008.

2009-01-06T07:56:00.004+08:00

I've been spending more time in my other blog, and thinking of erasing this account, but I keep coming back to it. Anyhoo, let me revive this blog by thanking the year that was.

TRAVEL

I didn't travel as much as I thought I would, but this year's trips were meaningful. With another kdrama-loving friend, I flew to Jeju-do, Korea, visiting places I'd only seen on TV. It was a group tour with other Pinoys, and I never thought I could bond with 40- and 50-something women who were infatuated with Rain, and who were more knowledgeable about Korean dramas than I was.

The other country I visited was Singapore with my family. Though it was my 3rd visit, it was different 'coz for the first time in a foreign country, I walked by myself. And it felt liberating! Of course, it didn't hurt that Singa was a safe place.

I also traveled locally for work, which included a wonderful memory of night drinking in a cottage beside a ricefield. I salute hardworking farmers everywhere. I also went to Bohol and Baguio with new travel buddies, whom I'd known since 2002. But the highlight was the Bora trip--a sojourn of firsts and secrets which I'll always cherish.

WORK

As usual, I jumped from one project to another, with Kids on Q as my regular "raket." I like working on different projects because I learn about myself. Working with people with different work ethics, beliefs and personalities helps to be grounded and flexible. The ground-breaking project this year is being a facilitator/trainer at the NCCT (National Commission on Children's TV) video workshop in Baguio, where I interacted with high school students. Though I enjoy working at home for my writing projects, I've realized that I crave for human interaction--especially with kids.

LOVE

Spanky and I celebrated our 6th year. We've had our fill of challenges, but the most important thing is we can still make each other laugh. (I hope it's not one-sided 'coz he's the comedian.) As cliche as it sounds, he's my bestest friend. I trust in Thee for us.

FAMILY

With my parents getting older, I have to constantly remind myself to be extra-patient and understanding. Keep my quick temper in check. Engage in more conversations. My friend, who has regrets about her dad who passed away years ago, advised me to treat each conversation as if it were the last. Kinda morbid, but it works for her and her mom.

SPIRITUALITY

I trust in my Higher Power. And I know that my HP asks for little in return--to live in the moment and to do the footwork and leave the rest to Him/Her.

On that note, I send my gratitude out into the universe. Thanks mucho.

Dang's SMS

2008-09-24T08:22:00.003+08:00

Sept. 22, 2008, 11:04 pm

Ngayong gabi sa Emmy's, wala na yata akong narinig na acceptance speech na di pinupuri at pinapasalamatan ang mga manunulat para sa TV. Wala man tayo sa Emmy, here's to you, Dakilang Manunulat. 'Di man n'yo madalas marinig ang pangalan n'yo sa listahan ng pinupuri at pinapasalamatan para sa isang show, 'di man kayo ang kumikita nang malaki, kayo ang puso, kaluluwa, at utak ng isang palabas. Keep the faith, writers! :-)

This made me smile. 'Di man ako manunulat ng drama show--mostly I write spiels, stand-uppers and voice-overs for tele-magazine shows-- this message affirmed me as a writer for TV. :-)

Lala-lovers

2008-07-10T07:40:00.003+08:00

And so I'm still reeling from the effects of finishing Lovers in Prague in less than a week. Swollen eyes from crying? Check. Major crush on the actor? Check. Practicing hairstyles in front of the mirror so I could look more like the lead actress? Check. Googling every bit of info about the show and its cast? Check. Yup, all the symptoms of yet another kdrama craze are present. Give me another week to recover.

lovin' me

2008-06-27T16:28:00.004+08:00

Felt kinda low the past few weeks because I realized, just this morning, that I was depending on other people to pick me up, to get me out of this rut...when truly-lee, I was responsible for my own feelings.

I'd been promising to treat myself to a massage but I always had excuses--the road leading to the mall was under repair, I was too lazy, I'd rather feel lousy at home than make some extra effort, etc.

This morning, I realized that I'd been feeling down 'coz was letting myself down. I was breaking promises to myself. I was being unreliable.

So this morning (come hell or high water), I went to the mall (which, strictly speaking, is only walking distance from my home) and availed of a much-deserved, hour-long shiatsu massage. And it was heaven; the masseuse ran her fingers over my knotted back and shoulders (which had been giving me sporadic headaches). God bless her.

After, I felt so relaxed, like a weight had been (literally) lifted from my shoulders. I got home and took a nap.

Now, I like myself more. It's my responsibility to be someone worthy of my trust. (Does that make sense? Y'know what I mean :-))

book-marked

2008-06-10T20:02:00.003+08:00

Saw this old, creased bookmark lying around the house. Turned out that years ago, mom bought a bunch of bookmarks on sale. My dad was using it but since he'd rather dog-ear a book's page than look for an old bookmark he'd careless dropped, I claimed it for myself. Claimed, too, the words written on it.

You are a Lover of Words...One Day, You Will Write a Book

People turn to you because you give voice to dreams, notice little things, and make otherwise impossible imaginings appear real. You are a rare bird who thinks the world is beautiful enough to try to figure it out, who has the courage to dive into your wild mind and go swimming there.

You are someone who still believes in cloud watching, people watching, daydreaming, tomorrow, favorite colors, silver clouds, dandelions, and sorrow. Be sacred. Be cool. Be wild. Go far. Words do more than plant miracle seeds. With you writing them, they can change the world.

- Ashley Rice

bookish me

2008-04-28T09:21:00.006+08:00

I actually haven't been reading regularly, but when the mood hits me, reading becomes the highlight of my day.

Anyhoo, I just discovered that on days when I want to feel safe and normal, I read Agatha Christie, preferrably Hercule Poirot stories.

On ordinary days, I read my Young Adult books. I still prefer fantasy stories over the real-life kind. My fave fantasy authors--Diane Wynne Jones, Natalie Babbit, and Jonathan Stroud. When I feel like escaping reality into more reality, I'm most likely to be reading Jerry Spinelli and Cynthia Rylant.

On pensive days, I read Anne Tyler and Banana Yoshimoto. Their words just leap at me ever so unobtrusively. I know it sounds nerdish, but their words are so exact and palpable, I can taste them. And they're just what I'm hungry for at that particular moment.

saturday fun machine

2008-04-26T09:50:00.005+08:00

My sugar-filled body is sluggish today. After eating roughly a big slice of choco cake (avoiding the sponge and relishing the icing) and several handfuls of M&M's, I am terribly bloated but too lazy (and weak?) to exercise on account of my snifflez.

Last night, availed of the manicure/pedicure GC i won at the company Christmas party. That was probably only my 4th time to have a pedicure, and the first for a manicure. Anyway, the girl asked which I wanted done first. Shrugged my shoulders and said, "Paa siguro." Halfway thru the process, I realized I should've let her do my hands first because it's virtually impossible to function (e.g. getting money from my wallet, searching for my carkeys in my mala-parachute maong bag) without getting my manicure ruined.

And true enough within seconds of exiting the salon, my manicure was ruined. So when I got home, I ruthlessly wiped the polish off my fingernails with acetone (buti na lang meron sa bahay). And it didn't bother me much because it was ickily bright red. I don't know why I chose that color in the first place.

It takes a whole of effort to be kikay.

not-so-bad sing

2008-04-02T08:32:00.008+08:00

I just got back from a 3-day Singapore trip with my family. The tours were crazy (imagine, we were 10 in the family--a group tour within a group tour) and stressful, but it was nice to see the kiddies ooh-ing and aahi-ing over the animals at Night Safari, and the cable car ride and the giant fishies at Sentosa Island.

It was my third time to take these tours but I still enjoyed them. But what I enjoyed most what walking the Singa streets on my own, even at high noon. Though the weather was ultra sunny, and sometimes humid, the trees which trimmed the sidewalks provided ample shade and cool air.

I met up with my friend who was job-hunting , and we explored a few malls and eateries. It actually made me appreciate Singapore more. And well, I'd really like to explore more of it in the future. I wouldn't mind staying there for a week or more.

Though some people think it's a boring country with rigid rules and all buildings, I think it deserves more credit. Almost no crime and no extreme poverty scenes that hit you right in the gut. I was happy to see a lot of Pinays last Sunday (their day-off) converging in small groups, giggling and shopping.

Its high cost of living is a small price to pray for its pollution-free and efficient environment, I think.

The Diver

2008-03-26T14:59:00.005+08:00

A line from the poem "The Diver," which I discovered during my freshman year in college in our literary magazine called Heights. Actually, it should be "A blue I won't fall out of (forgot the "a" at the beginning). I forgot who the poet was...but she wrote it when she was just a student.

It starts out with "There is an element called water," when the diver slices through the pool. And ends with "Then there is an element called air," when the diver resurfaces. Basta sobra akong namangha sa poem na 'to. :-)

Took the above photo at Dagupan, Pangasinan.

on a sunday afternoon

2008-03-09T17:52:00.008+08:00

Casablanca park

When singing or humming out of the blue, my default song is "On a Sunday Afternoon" by LSOB or A Lighter Shade of Brown, for long.

For the first time in weeks, I stayed home the whole day without working. And that song fit the mood perfectly-- though I was chilling at home instead of the park, and I was with my parents and my nephew Ramon instead of Shylo and the homies.

japananaman

2008-02-28T20:59:00.007+08:00

This afternoon, while I was madly typing up yet another storm of a script, Chic texted, "Utsumi-san is here! :-)" Menn, oh menn. I just had to pause. Hearing about Utsumi-san made me think of Japan. Kailan ba ako makakabalik? So I just texted back, "Bow to him for me, hehe."

Utsumi-san was our ever gracious host when we went to Hokkaido last October to shoot a travel show. Menn, oh japenn. I'm aching to return to Tokyo. Para na 'kong sirang plaka.

And to think I just bought new luggage last weekend. My ever-supportive mom took one look at it and said, "Alam mo dati, nung nanghihiram ka ng maleta, alis ka nang alis. Ngayon na bumili ka na para sa sarili mo, sa tingin ko, ngayon ka naman hindi makakalarga." Salamat, ma. Aruruy.

idol ko si kou shuurei.

2008-02-26T18:18:00.001+08:00

Because of heavy workload (and then some) these days, I cling on to every glimmer of positive vibe to stay sane. Like this afternoon, I grudgingly turned on the computer to surf (I wanted to avoid using the computer, even for leisure because I'm always using it for work) and was sobrang saya to discover a new Saiunkoku Monogatari episode at Crunchyroll!

For 30 minutes straight, I was grinning like crazy.

God is good.

****************
In other news, I finally exercise-biked and dusted my workstation (including Bread and Butter--names of my computer monitor and CPU respectively) yesterday, and washed my car this morning. I'm grateful that I can still squeeze in these soul-sustaining chores amidst karaketan.

galing

2008-02-11T04:54:00.005+08:00

I can actually blog from my phone! Galing ng technology talaga o. This is my first post via my mobile. This photo was taken the day i bought a new phone to replace the one i dropped while walking along Matino st. Welcome, CP #7!

kumenasai

2007-12-31T21:39:00.000+08:00

i've neglected this blog because of my other site.

Anyway, only 2 hours to go before the New year so I've decided to update, especially since my dad and kuya have taken over the TV so i can't continue marathoning this anime:

I wonder if I have an obssessive personality. Probably. As much as I hate to admit it, I was obssessed with Menudo in the 4th grade, with the movie Labyrinth in the 6th grade (as well as NKOTB), then Dead Poets Society in high school. Then in freshman college, with LA 105.9. But the earliest obssession I remember is the movie Annie, starring Aileen Quinn. I was 6 years old and I watched the rented betamax tape 5 TIMES. When it was time to return the tape to the video store, I cried. My dad ended up buying it for me. I loved the "hard knock life" scene wherein orphans were tumbling on beds and balancing on ledges. It was so astig, I thought.

I was also addicted to the Hi-c commercial (the orange juice drink). You know how the jingle went...Hi-i-i-c! It tastes so wonderfully. (wonderfully!) When my kuyas changed the channel during that commercial, I'd fight with them.

So, anyway, what I wanted to say was this year was pretty fun. A lot of unexpected things happened. Happy accidents and all that. I also had fun attending the christmas parties-- Citrus, kuting, serendipity, yakkers, and the epals.

Thanks, wanhenhol! Happy New Year!

kdrama in the flesh

2007-11-22T19:15:00.000+08:00

antsy, itchy, anxious feet
antsy, itchy feet in heat
take me for a whirl
in this part of the world!

sisters, sisters...

2007-11-06T05:39:00.000+08:00

Went to Davao last week with my mom and her sisters--one who came from the States and the other from Cabanatuan. My mom dragged me along to be their photographer. They were so fun to watch, especially when we got to the resort and mom whipped out three identical swimsuits (in different colors and were all bought on sale, of course) and they wore it at the "photo shoot."

Most of the time, they were just gabbing away and helping each other walk. And during meal times, they (except my mom) brought out their pillbox for the day, swallowing multi-colored capsules and tablets. I carried their luggages, reminded them when it was boarding time, and helped them figure out to manipulate their cellphones. Needless to say, I had fun. :-)

I hope that like them, in due time, age won't keep me from having fun.

hokkaido gozaimasu!

2007-10-25T15:47:00.000+08:00

Finally went to my dream country: Japan! Though we only stayed a total of 1 1/2 days in Tokyo, I enjoyed every bit of my time in Hokkaido in Northern Japan where we stayed for 4 days. Via small plane, it took around 3 hours to get there from Chofu airport, an hour away by car from Tokyo.

Everyone kept saying that Hokkaido doesn't look like Japan. And it's true. Its landscapes of rolling hills are more reminiscent of Northern Europe than Asia.

We stayed at the Hazel Grouse Manor House, an English-style hotel and restaurant.
We always ate French food (that's what they served at the restaurant). Sometimes it felt weird. Here we were in Japan and we felt like we were in Europe.

But our host took pity on us and took us to a Japanese restaurant on two nights. Here's the robata grill which uses bincho-tan or white charcoal that's harder and slower-burning than its black counterpart. Tradition dictates than an elderly woman does the grilling at the center of the restaurant.

The autumn winds were freezing. I think temperature dropped down to zero. But I couldn't complain; one morning at 4 am when we were gearing up for a shoot, it snowed! My first snow. I was grinning from ear to ear. It only lasted for 10 minutes and even the locals were surprised. Snow in October. Dave Matthews' words kept playing in my head: I love you oh, so well. Like a kid who loves candy and first snow.

Hokkaido was beautiful--the perfect nature getaway--sounds like a rip-off from a brochure, but it's true anyway.

Fishing at Lake Kussharo

Our gracious host Utsumi-san

I'm longing to return to Japan to soak in Tokyo.

Samar out there

2007-10-05T19:15:00.000+08:00

Ari's photo

Because of my recent Samar trip and Wrong about Japan (Mabes' bday gift), the book I recently finished, I am fascinated about World War II. The Guiuan airstrip, on where the above 1957 Beech 18 was parked, is the only existing testament to the thriving US airbase back in 1944-1945. (And yes, we rode that restored plane from Manila to Samar.)

Just imagine, this airstrip used to host a steady stream of bombers and fighter planes. It was also where the Enola Gay took off before it bombed Japan.

In Wrong about Japan, I read about a war survivor whose story was the inspiration for the animated movie, Grave of the Fireflies. So that sorta made me think of the other side of war--when Japan was being incessantly bombed by the US.

Anyway, one morning at 4 am, I asked my mom about WW II stories because really, it happened not so long ago. She couldn't remember much but she remembered seeing dead bodies and watching her school go up in flames. She was just a kid then.

I wish I asked my titos and my lola about the war when they were still alive.

malapit nang mawala sa kalendaryo

2007-09-20T18:27:00.000+08:00

I remember watching an episode of VILMA! many many years ago. It was Ate Vi's birthday and her co-host (Dick Paulate ata?) was asking her how old she was. Clutching her panyolito, Ate Vi giggled, "Wala na sa kalendaryo!"

Of course as a kid, I couldn't relate. But now... hehe. :-)

And so, I'm supposed to be working but I can't concentrate. Really. I can't work on my birthday!! And so I opened the blogger page and typed here instead.

It was an okay, quiet day. And really, the gifts didn't matter much anymore. Why does that happen when we grow older, I wonder? It 6:32 pm now and I haven't eaten anything since that tummy-bursting all-you-can-eat buffet lunch. And it was such a laugh to be surprised at Dave Matthews' cameo in "I now pronounce you...Chuck and Larry." I hope pareng Dave can come over here sometime and hold an acoustic concert.

Which reminds me, Elliot Yamin is going to be in Trinoma tomorrow!

Sorry, it's a non-sensical post. :-) Pagbigyan n'yo na ko. I think I'll watch an episode of Gokusen. I'll work tomorrow. I'll treadmill tomorrow. I'll think tomorrow. Today, I do whatever I want.

How can you have fun while working?

2007-09-15T06:17:00.000+08:00

Answer: Work for/with children.

Salamat Batibot, 5 and Up, Kuting, Art is-kool, Eskuwela ng Bayan, Junior Inquirer, Kids on Q and SPARK magazine. :-)

free ride

2007-09-05T08:42:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I woke up at 4 am and went home at 10 pm from Cavite, where we shot and did a bunch of interviews. Way tiring. But guess what? It was okay. Because I worked with hardworking, no-bull but fun people.

So different from what I'm experiencing with another project. The project is exciting but co-workers are more difficult to work with. I have to measure my words, put up a cheerful facade and well, basically, suck it in. I'm still weighing my options but perhaps it's best to stick it out.

But sometimes, I think...nah, it's not worth all the stress. Maybe I'm just being an old fuddy-dud, so set in my ways. It's getting harder for me to swallow my pride.

I just want to be able to laugh while working.

Maldives

2007-08-31T06:31:00.000+08:00

This trip’s timing was totally unexpected; it was supposed to have happened a month ago but when July passed without a peep, I gave it up.

But surprise! A week after Morocco, this landed on my lap.

Many people don’t know where the Maldives is exactly. It’s actually in Asia, near Sri Lanka and India. It’s composed of almost 2000 islands, 200 of which are inhabited.

The float plane is a wonderful piece of transport for island hopping. Instead of taking us 4 hours to reach our destination by boat, the trip is magically reduced to just 30 minutes. And the aerial view is really amazing. I discovered the many nuances of the color blue.

We stayed at the Medhufushi Island Resort. The colors of the sky, sea and sand were so crisp and dramatic—so postcard-pretty. A few feet from the shore, we spotted a reef shark and a sea turtle. But most of the time, I was thinking how our own country had just as beautiful beaches. I just wish we took care of them more. The Maldives has a “one resort per island” policy, and implements strict environmental laws.

Everything in the Maldives—from toothpaste to clothes, veggies to souvenirs, are imported mostly from Malaysia. They don’t have manufacturing plants owing to their small territory. Male, the capital, is one of the smallest in the world, and can be toured on foot for just two hours. Aside from tourism, their other industry is fishing. You’ll never run out of fresh sashimi with just a day’s catch.

An Ouarzazate Story

2007-08-18T22:20:00.000+08:00

accomodations fashioned after the nomads' tents

Jay and Maey came from their Ouarzazate shoot, raving about gorgeous gorges, camping under the brilliant stars, and eating chicken cooked in tanjin, the traditional Moroccan pot—counterpart of our palayok.

Since Mawj and I arrived two days late and only met them in Marrakech, we were absolutely dying with envy with their Ouarzazate stories. We decided to go there—but we also wanted Jay and Maey to come with us. We knew the experience wouldn’t be complete without them.

But the two were a bit hesitant. After all, why should they spend extra to go somewhere they’ve already been to? They could explore other places or just chill out at Casablanca. But I was adamant. Ang kulit ko, pare. Up until the night before we left, I kept badgering them to join the trip. I used every emotional blackmail tool I could think of—Paano na ang friendship?! Papautangin naming kayo! Minsan lang tayo mag-Morocco, maghihiwa-hiwalay pa tayo?! Looking back at it--- mennn, I didn’t know I had that kakulitan inside me.

Needless to say, they caved in. And in the end, they thanked me for it! Because unlike the scorching heat they had experienced in their first trip, Ouarzazate was cool because of the unexpected rain. We rock-climbed, shouted our frustrations over the gorges, heard our echoes, wrote in each other’s journals, munched on camel barbeque and cooked our own goat tanjin. We marveled at the expanse of the place; it was the land where nomads roamed, pitching their homes from one spot to another. And at that moment we knew how that felt like as we moved from one destination to another, sleeping in transit and in strangers' homes.

There are lots more stories to tell about this place and our whole Morrocan journey and I’ll post them as soon as I get the other photos. :-)

Let’s FEZ it!

2007-08-17T17:20:00.000+08:00

The old medina at Fez was my first favorite place in Morocco. The square, stunted structures reminded me of the Greece I saw in magazines and movies.

Inside was a bundle of shops bursting with color. The vendors are friendlier here; they don’t grab or bite. One followed Mawj for about 5 minutes but when she smiled, saying, “No money,” the vendor just nodded understandingly, “It’s okay.” And he just walked away.

We wished we had spent more time here but we only had one day to tour the place. The best part was when our Pinoy guide led us to the top of a building and we beheld this:

The famous tanneries! Like a watercolor palette spread before our eyes, the tanneries are where animal skins are dipped and dyed. When people found out we went here, their first reaction would always be a sympathetic, “It smelled bad, no?” Like hell, it did. But honestly, I almost didn’t notice the stench. The sight was much more overpowering.

For lunch, we had kebabs.

*Photos 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8 by Jayhoho. The rest by not a creature was stirring, not even a Mawj.

Marrakech

2007-08-16T23:14:00.000+08:00

Jay O's photo

This was actually the first place Mawj and I toured in Morocco. After a brief slumber in Casablanca straight from the airport, we took a train ride early in the morning. We wanted to ride first class so we can have reserved seats but we ended up in wa-class because all the good seats were taken. Correction: ALL seats were taken.

Mawj's photo
Sure, we looked like happy campers here but that was just for show. It was no picnic standing on the aisle for three hours with no air-conditioning. We had to squeeze against the wall whenever the trolley or new passengers came in.

Jay O's photo

We spent the day touring the Djemaa el Fna square. Hawkers are so aggressive that one even grabbed my wrist to force me into his store. They also have the habit of talking just inches from your face. Worse, Mawj and I got lost in the maze of stalls. A teenaged boy kept tailing us and told us to follow him. We ignored him at first but soon, we realized we had no choice. He led us past winding alleys while going around in circles. After several minutes, we finally saw the main square. The teenager demanded 300 dirhams for his service--roughly P1,500! We stood our ground and instead, gave him 3 dirhams. Kurips hehe.

Mawj's photo

At night, the square is alive with snake charmers, food stalls, and all the souvernirs you can imagine--from the exotic to the downright cheezy. Morrocans kept calling out Konbanwa! and Ni hau ma! to us. No one guessed we were Pinoys. :-)

Jay O's photo

We had to constantly watch out for gropers, snatchers, taxis, horses and bikes. They all made their way here, unmindful of pedestrians. But I gotta admit, despite its yucky elements, Djemaa el Fna was a must-see. Everything and everyone was so alive! I could feel the whole square ablaze with energy. I was drawn to it with a kind of fearful fascination.

Morocco

2007-08-15T18:14:00.000+08:00

Jay O's photo

My two friends who worked in a travel show invited me and our other friend to tag along in their shoot. We'd pay for our own tickets, food and in-between rides but we could bunk with them in homes of Pinoys whom they'd meet along the way.

Originally, they were going to Greece, which got me all excited. Then it became Madagascar, from which I backed out. Then finally, it was Morocco. I wasn't all gung-ho about it like my friend, but I decided to go anyway because I was aching for an out-of-the-country trip. And though Morocco wasn't in my list of must-sees, it sounded exotic enough.

Jay O's photo

We stayed there for almost two weeks, riding buses and trains, cabs and planes. And as usual, the trips were long--from 5 to as much as 16 hours. During my whole trip, I only slept on a real bed for 2 nights. The rest were spent on the floor, couches or in vehicles. But it's all part of the experience :-)

1st stop: C A S A B L A N C A
I wasn't the type to do research on a country I'd be visiting so I was surprised to find out that Casablanca was actually in Morocco! It was a cute, clean city peppered with cafes that cater to all social classes. A Pinoy told us that just for 8 dirhams (roughly around P40), an out-of-job Moroccan (marami dito ang jobless) could buy a cafe au lait and spend the whole day sipping and people-watching.

We visited the grand mosque. Although Morocco is a Muslim country, it's westernized compared to its middle east counterparts. The men are allowed to have multiple marriages, but they usually stick to one wife for economic reasons.

This is the pigeon park, which they say, is reminiscent of Italy.

We found the above fruit seller near the entrance of the medina. He sold cactus fruit which tasted like kiwi. Enterprising Moroccans are so used to tourists that they demand for money every chance they get. After we took pictures of this dude, he demanded payment.

Then there's the Candolin beach which looked like Miami, Florida with rows of palm trees along the pavement. It was summer there so the beach wass teeming with sunbathers, swimmers...

Jay O's photo

...and wannabe soccer stars. If Pinoys are crazy about basketball, Moroccans are mad about football.

Jay O's photo

Casablanca was our homebase. After a gruelling overnight or balikan trip, we went home to Casablanca. It was where we met and bonded with Pinoys. Mostly we stayed in Edgar's apartment, tucked away in some corner unknown to cab drivers. Because the Moroccans speak French (not English), they couldn't understand us and we couldn't understand them. We had to call our host everytime so he could give instructions to the cabbie. But by the end of the 2-week trip, we learned to utter the words le socrat, rue atabari and post maroc effortlessly and we arrived home on our own.

Every breakfast, we feasted on french bread, croissants, butter, cheese and steaming mugs of Nesquik c/o the ever gracious Edgar.

Mawj's photo

I'll be posting about Marrakech next :-)

countdown

2007-07-28T06:28:00.000+08:00

YES! i'm excited to go that place even if that trip has completely wiped out my year's savings. when i get there, i shouldn't think of the money spent or how i'm ever gonna earn it back. drafted out a money chart and realized that after i've returned, i'll still be broke for at least a month. i've never spent so much on a single thing --and not an income-generating one at that--but potentially rewarding in other aspects.

ANYWAY, i just felt i had to send that message out to the universe. happy thoughts, a leap of faith, and all that positive goodness. 3 more days before we leave and YES, i am excited. will be back in 2 weeks so i'll dish out the verdict then.

adik as usual

2007-07-17T17:22:00.000+08:00

must. not. marathon. another. koreanovela.

really! i have this tendency to really get into one thing and exhaust all my time and energy on it. suddenly, i remember my menudo and nkotb craze days. the other day, i spent 2 hours surfing kdrama reviews and crushie actors and actresses. i'm a regular 14-year-old.

watched "itsumo," a japanese drama and it was quite good. so maybe i should include Jdramas in my DVD marathon frenzy.

but it wasn't a total waste of time. after watching, i realized the following:
1. i miss having a work place and work friends.
2. i want to live on my own in this lifetime.
3. i want to try my hand in directing someday.
4. i want to edit video again.
5. i think i want to have highlights in my hair.

ok enough. no more Kdrama entries.

Asians rule!

2007-07-04T20:15:00.000+08:00

Finally finished watching Dalja's spring today. Talk about a DVD Marathon. My dad was kind enough to let me hog the TV the whole day though I knew he was itching to watch Lakbay TV(he loves that channel.) I put off work until the very last minute 'coz I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if I hadn't finished the whole thing.

Sooooo after watching, I just had to surf the net and read reviews AND it was nice to see that a good mix of Asians watch these dramas. On the above-mentioned Koreanovela--Singaporeans, Vietnamese and of course, Koreans, commented on the show. I felt so proud to be Asian. :-)

This reminds me of a trip to China a few years ago with friends for the Kunming Film Festival. After one of the screenings, we joined a group of Asian filmmakers for dinner. It was so much fun to converse with our Japanese, Indonesian, Korean and Chinese friends. It was so funny because the Indonesian kept saying that me and my friends looked like Indonesians. In turn, we kept telling her she looked Filipino. I felt this Asian connection and it was quite a high. Oh, and I loved how we all ate rice. :-)

having a time

2007-06-26T08:51:00.000+08:00

Feeling quite happy after more than a week. Realized what I really wanted and I have made my decision. Nothing beats an epiphany like that. I'm going to hold on to this moment as long as I can.

Haha, walang connection yung photo sa post. Wala, trip lang. Kunwari ako si Bantay having a momentus dramaticus.

pickmeupper

2007-06-22T17:24:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my Koreanovela-loving friend Tet, I am now happily immersed in Dalja's Spring. It's about a 33-year-old virgin finding her "destiny." Of course, it sometimes reminds me of Ally McBeal and Amelie pero aliw pa rin panuorin. Ganda ng cinematography. Sana may light comedy drama tv shows din tayo dito sa Pinas. It's all pink, fluffy fantasy---just the way I like it...well, sometimes :-)

dad

2007-06-16T14:41:00.000+08:00

Happy father's day to a dad who:

put himself through school by selling newspapers on the streets.

was a 16-year-old waiter in the Ateneo canteen.

is proud to have children graduate from and a grandchild currently studying in said school.

quit his regular job, borrowed money from the bank and set up the first pawnshop in Daet. This move allowed his family to move into their own house and eventually have a better life.

started smoking at 16 and quit cold-turkey in his 40s.

has beautifully dark skin, married to a part-Spanish tisay. Growing up, his daughter had issues about her dark complexion she inherited from him (it didn't help that her 2 kuyas had light complexions). But now, she loves her brown skin and can't imagine herself any other way.

is a walking encyclopedia.

has tried to be a Buddhist, an Atheist and a Catholic. Now, he just calls himself a Believer.

never knew his father's relatives, including his lolo and titos and titas. When his dad was 16 years old, he was a stowaway from Capiz and somehow ended up in Zambales.

plans to make a roadtrip to Capiz someday and visit his relatives, thinking maybe he'll understand himself more.

wants "NO REGRETS" to be inscribed on his tomb.

treadmills or walks briskly 1 1/2 hours a day, making him the fittest member of the family.

Thanks :-)

pasukan

2007-06-07T09:49:00.000+08:00

like my 7-year-old nephew, ayoko ng pasukan. bumubusina nang maaga yung schoolbus ng kapitbahay namin. nate-tense ang mga magulang ko kasi kailangan nilang sunduin everyday yung apo nila. at higit sa lahat, hassle na magC5 kasi traffic na naman sa katipunan!

i've been trying to finish the 2nd season of numb3rs. i wonder if anyone else watches that show. i just finished the first and only season of My So-Called Life (thanks, cam!) a few days ago and all I can say is shiyet. wish I could make a show--or at least be part of a show--like that.

Kolambugan

2007-05-31T19:55:00.000+08:00

It was my first time in Lanao del Norte. And though we were there to shoot a sportsfest for kids, I couldn't help feeling just a teeny bit apprehensive 'cause they were having the special elections in Lanao del Sur at the same time.

But it was both a peaceful and fun shoot. I fell in love with Mindanao. I hope to explore more of it soon. Gusto ko na tuloy matutong mag-bisaya :)

the year of travel

2007-05-11T10:00:00.000+08:00

San Juan, Batangas

4 months into 2007 (last month), I declared this year as the year of travel. i know, i know... i just posted that I didn't like to travel for work anymore, and I still prefer not to. But if that's what life dishes out, then kakagatin ko na. But I'm planning to travel outside work. Mas magastos, pero mas solb.

Be it with a group...

or by myself.

Photos taken by Spanks. :)

sweet inspi

2007-04-14T07:44:00.001+08:00

Thanks to fellow Kuting Cynthia, I discovered Joan Bauer, my current fave Young Adult author. I've just finished her novel Thwonk which I really liked and now I'm reading Squashed, her first novel which won the School Library Jornal Best Book of the Year.

And this she advises to aspiring writers:

Risk yourself on the pages. By that I mean --- think about what you know, where you’ve been, what difficulties you’ve experienced, examine what you know about human nature (the good and the bad), give your characters dreams and nightmares, give them people who can help them along the way. Don’t be afraid to write about some of the rough things that have happened to you. That’s when power streams in writing, when we’ve touched those links to pain and real life. Also, it’s important to read quality writing, not junk. When I’m writing a book, I’m always reading several adult novels for inspiration. Write about things you care about --- passion will carry you through when the work feels stuck. Listen to criticism, try to learn how to make things better. Don’t be afraid to revise your work. Revision is the biggest word in my life --- I’m at it constantly. Know, too, that not everything you write will work, but it all works together to make you a better writer. Write your ideas down, take your desire to write seriously. Oh yeah --- and don’t forget to have fun, too. Let your heart go wild on the pages sometimes.

http://www.teenreads.com/authors/au-bauer-joan.asp

bacolod

2007-04-05T15:27:00.000+08:00

And this time, I brought heavy clothes to the shoot only to discover that it was quite hot and sunny at the foot of Mt. Kanlaon.

I followed on the second day of the shoot so I (thankfully) missed the gruelling 2 hour trek the team made on the first day. I only got to experience a mild 45-minute hike.

Color of the place: green. For the first time in quite a while, I feasted on freshly-picked langka. We used to have a tree at home. I think it fell during one of the typhoons in the 90s.

I liked Bacolod. It had a laid-back ambience and the people talked in gentle, lilting voices.

Don't worry, this doggie wasn't in a cage. He just liked hanging out against a net. :)

Launched!

2007-03-25T18:37:00.000+08:00

Before I forget, I want to thank all the bee-yoo-ti-ful people who came to the SOL exhibit and book launch. And to those who wanted to come but had work--itchokay :-) Mas nauna pang nag-post about it si Don. And for those who are curious about what the book looks like, check out the online version at the Canvas website.

Anyway, I think March has been a pretty ok month--perhaps not raket-wise, but it definitely had a few, pleasant surprises up its sleeve. Re-acquainting with photography, a trip to the beach, my book, and a job opportunity (hopefully) waiting in the wing.

So aside from the negative stuff that I'm trying to block out (traveling again for work in two days, a lengthy project for which I don't know if I'll ever get paid, chocochip hips, etc.), I think March has been kinda cool. Maski super hot ang panahon, in fairnezzzzzzzz.

getaway

2007-03-19T13:15:00.000+08:00

My family goes to Pundaquit, Zambales at least once a year. But last weekend was special because 1) my nephew and niece got to finally ride a carabao--something they (especially my nephew) have been pining for since last year.

2) It was a celebration of my kuya's and mom's birthdays. And since it's only mid-March, the beach wasn't crowded yet.

3) Spanky and Gelo came with us and we went to Capones island.

photo by Spankers

photo by Spankers

photo by Spankers

It was nice to see "outsiders" enjoy the Zamba experience. It made me appreciate the place and my family more.

photo by Spankers

Strawberry Shortcake in the flesh! SS is one of her fave cartoon characters :)

talaandig

2007-03-09T16:49:00.001+08:00

March 2007

-----

So i agreed to this out-of-town shoot, knowing that we were going to shoot organic coffee farming in cagayan de oro. When I got to our director's house before going to the airport at 3 am, I found out that we were going to Bukidnon to visit the Talaandig up in the mountains. I was totally unprepared; I only brought shorts and flip-flops so I had to borrow a warm jacket and pants because it was freezing up there.

And this time, I did bring a camera and it was such a pretty place...

With the most interesting people.

I had a great time photographing people.

Hehe don't really know how to resize the photos so some of them might look a little weird here.

journal-journalan

2007-02-25T15:42:00.000+08:00

Inspired by u l a n , I made a photojournal of my own. The last time I was into photography was waaaaaaay back in college so i dug up my album from my photography elective.

I always went to UP to shoot. There were just many subjects to choose from-- especially on Sundays pag punung-puno ng tao.

Anyhoo, following these easy steps, I made this journal. Only prob was that the glued binding didn't really work for me so I sewed the pages. That's why it can't open flat.

But I still like it!

decade

2007-02-20T06:26:00.000+08:00

"EK trip" circa 1997

It's been 10 years since we graduated from college. Grabe, ambilis ng panahon. As usual, hindi ako nakasama sa above gimik (forgot the reason) but I posted it 'coz ito ang fashion back in the day hehe. Socks with birks (or at least birks-like sandals), high-waist shorts, long hair parted in the middle for boys, the staple collared loose shirt (naguumpisa pa lang maging uso ang baby tee n'un) for girls. Siyempre, excited ang lahat kasi kabubukas pa lang ng EK n'un!

Nakakatawa at nakakatuwa. :-)

Eats time to write!

2007-02-13T11:46:00.000+08:00

I can't seem to write in front of the computer without munching. It's 11:30 am and after only revising one script and some research, I've consumed:

2 ube hopia
sinigang na baboy and rice
a papaya slice
a pouch of Panda cookies (white choco-filled)
several handfuls of potato chips

And now, my mom's calling me to have lunch. Ayayay.

yeah boy

2007-02-08T15:28:00.000+08:00

I'm really excited about it. Though I try not to be because like other scaredy-cats, I don't like expecting too much lest I be disappointed. But I'm thankful it's finally pushing through. The first artist who was commissioned for it wanted to "tweak" the story then backed out. The second one was too busy (a famous artist, so I've been told. Have to update myself on the local art scene). And Farley del Rosario is the third one. I like his whimsical style. Totally different from what I had originally imagined for the story but then, illustrators are also story-tellers in their own right. I love how their creative minds work.

Anyway, I'm also excited about a brewing project with some friends. So of course I'm not talking about that. Baka maudlot. :-)

OA ang lamig therefore OA din ang pagka-lamigin ko

2007-01-31T06:16:00.000+08:00

So I go to bed wearing jogging pants, a thickish shirt inside a thickish jacket zipped up to my chin, hood over my head. Magkukumot pa ako n'yan ha. OA talaga. Ganyan naman ako palagi. Even in air-conditioned rooms na pinagpapawisan ang mga kasama ko, nakajacket na kaagad ako. So I never leave home without my ja-quet.

Hay, global warming.
*****************
Maraming beses na ko tumitingin sa computer screen and find the words fuzzy. Syempre first reaction ko is to blame it on the screen but then I realize na bago pala yung monitor ko. Same thing happens to me with Spanky's computer. Does that mean lumalabo na yung paningin ko?

Sometimes, I catch myself holding a book just inches from my face. Whoa, lola. Pero I'll be in denial as long as possible. I don't want to wear glasses until I'm 40.
*******************
Anyway, for those who want to put their writing powers to the test, why not join the Canvas 2007 storywriting contest? Your story should be based on this painting by John Santos (a promising artist, not the comedian).

Cute yung concept 'di ba? Mauuna yung illustration kaysa yung story. Check out this site for details. Sumali ako last year at aliw yung mga iba't ibang kuwentong nabuo from a painting. Give it a shot! You only have to e-mail your piece. Grand prize is 30k! Think of all the books you can buy...and then some :-)

plug

2007-01-29T10:56:00.000+08:00

BAGETS, Kuting's first anthology for young adults is available at the UP Press Bookstore, Bahay ng Kalinao. It's a mix of sixteen Filipino and English short stories. Only P150!

To my friends, bili na! May story ako dyan hehe. Inspired by my HS days. Pero kung may nakabasa na faculty/sister from my highschool, I'm sure they won't be pleased.

And I think I saw this dolphin.

bottle-nosed dolphin photo by Zoe Battersby from this site

Read that both bottle-nosed and spinner dolphins can be found in Balicasag, which is in Panglao. But the ones I saw really had light pink bellies just begging to be scratched hehe.

update, update

2007-01-29T09:19:00.000+08:00

Finally, I am patient enough to wait for blogger to load. January has been a packed month work-wise. Sayang, wala na namang photos 'tong post because when I went to Bohol the first week of January, dala ko nga yung camera pero di ko naman na-charge ang battery. Hay. Quick run-down of what happened (and random thoughts) this month:

- went to Balicasag Island Dive Resort for an AVP. Saw pudgy, pink-bellied dolphins when we went dolphin-watching. (Have to research on what they're called; they're not the typical spinner dolphins.)
- realized that I've had enough of travel--for now anyway. i was supposed to go to zamboanga, leyte and cagayan de oro for shoots. but guess what? i opted to do stay behind to write the scripts. i know some travel-hungry friends who'd call me crazy. i don't know, travel just made me feel more lost somehow.
- wrote, wrote, and wrote galore for work. A year ago, I was pining for writing projects and now that i have them, i am happy, yes...but also a bit drained. I'm doing what I've always wanted. I just have to remind myself sometimes.
- my 3-year-old laptop broke down. Just couldn't deal anymore with its constant break-down. Last year, it had 3 repairs. Last week, I bought a desktop.
- back to being a producer. I'm appreciating the job more. Call it "second wind" if you like.
- Chunky Farflung in Marikina Shoe Expo closed down. We got the unsold Bakya shirts and collected sales. Spanky and I ended up treating ourselves to Bellini's afterwards.

I don't know what February will bring; hopefully, more projects and more opportunities to earn. Just go, go, go this 2007!

may cassette tape ako nito!

2006-12-22T12:24:00.000+08:00

sorry naaaliw ako lately sa mga cheezy quizzes. snagged this from my friend. :-)

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Breakfast at Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something

And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

Kuting Pawty

2006-12-21T16:25:00.000+08:00

Last night, I went to my first Christmas party this year. It was with my org-mates in Kuting. After the usual eating and chikahan, we had several raffles and "exchange gifts." And I got this!

Well, technically I got a teddy bear which Astrid wanted. But I didn't want to swap it for her calendar. So I asked Doc Luis if he wanted my stuffed toy for his Lemony Snicket journal, and he obliged. Astrid asked if he could have the teddy bear in exchange for the calendar, and Doc agreed. So everyone was happy after the post-exchange gift Exchange Gift!

It's a journal (but it has lines, oh well) with quotes from The Series of Unfortunate Events. I'm not a big fan of those books but I love journals and this one even includes stickers!

Die with a T

2006-12-18T16:12:00.000+08:00

Since October, I've been trying to lose the flab in time for my first maid-of-honor stint for my friend's wedding two weeks from now. Who am I kidding? I can't not eat rice! There are days when I can (miraculously) survive without even a grain, but I make up for it by eating loads of pasta and bread (or sweets).

Like today, I ate rice for breakfast and lunch with oodles of ulam. I told myself, "Ok, di na ko lalamon." But when Spanky swung by with sapin-sapin, I polished it off under a minute. And even as I write, the frozen fruit salad (on a stick) in the freezer is calling me.

And I only have to sigh in resignation, thinking about all the Christmas food I'll be gobbling up in the coming days. And it doesn't help that her wedding's on the 30th right after all the merriment and cakes, hamon, queso de bola, lengua, and ... oh, you get my point.

Oh, and it doesn't help to be 30.

ain't complaining

2006-12-08T12:50:00.000+08:00

...but i'm feeling ngarag. Tama nga ang sinasabi nilang maraming projects 'pag December kasi d'un naglalabas ng pera ang mga companies to produce their AVPs, events, etc.

I'm thankful for the busy-ness (kasi minsan naloloka ako pag walang ginagawa) and the future moolah (won't be getting paid 'til next month; one of the downsides of freelancing) pero minsan, all i wanna do is curl up with a book.

But life is gooooood.

i am chocolate chip ice cream

2006-12-03T14:55:00.000+08:00

You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

You are kind, popular, and generous.You tend to be successful at anything you try.A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd.
You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

green with envy

2006-11-20T14:27:00.001+08:00

just got back from a shoot in naga. after 26 years, (shoot, tanda ko na) nasilayan ko ulit ang Mayon Volcano at Cagsawa ruins...in person! sayang, nakalimutan ko yung camera so cellphone cam lang yung ginamit ko. at di ko pwedeng upload dito kasi 1) wala kong bluetooth at 2) wala kong cable. so iba na lang ang isusulat ko.

from left-right (dill, orange, thai basil, swiss mint, thai basil ulit, chocolate mint)

Na-inspire kami ng yummy plant stories ni Abi so bumili kami ng mga halaman sa Manila Seedling Bank in Quezon Avenue. Spanks first bought orange, thai basil and swiss mint.

Next time na pumunta siya, sumama na ako at bumili ng dill and choco mint.

The nice man at the store warned me na maselan ang dill (see above left na may tender, wispy leaves) but i took the chance. Sarap kasi ng natikman kong french bread with garlic butter and dill sprinkles sa birthday party ng friend namin.

True to their names, these plants smell yummy. Amazing how the choco mint leaves (after rubbing a leaf gently between your thumb and forefinger) really smell like choco mint! Spanky added some swiss mint leaves to a pitcher of iced tea and I could taste the diff. Goal namin for these plants: sana mabuhay at lumaki!

Para naman makagawa na kami ng garlic cheese and basil pizza. Sarrrrrap!

sane pa me

2006-10-29T14:01:00.000+08:00

for a moment there, i thought november was going to be a raket-free month. just when i thought i couldn't take "relaxing" any longer, one project landed on my lap. Salamat Spanky at UPI.

It feels weird going into that office again for work but I guess one raket isn't gonna hurt. Us former probees have an unwritten rule, You may never passeth this wayeth againeth. We all like to think we've moved on. I have. (At least I think so.) But everyone knows "ber" months are "gastos" months and we all have to make some moolah.

busy-busyhan

2006-10-20T14:56:00.000+08:00

Dahil wala pang raket, napapaka-arts and crafty ako. Oh yes, na-inspire ako ng project runway. Sana nga may 2nd season DVDs na kaso walang available nung pumunta kami sa Metrowalk. Anyway, so far ito ang mga inatupag ko:

Spanky's jazzed-up ukay shirt

Nanumbalik ang mga home ec (ek-ek) classes ko nung grade school. The radio patches were given to me by a producer I met in my former raket. Naka-discover kasi siya ng kid's sweater sa ukay peppered with radio prints. Astig yung old skool radio!

Hirap mag-satin stitch na hindi DMC thread ang gamit. Nagkakanda buhul-buhol. Pero pinagtiyagaan ko ang mga cheap but colorful threads I found at home. Favorite ko pa rin ang outline stitch (in between the satin stitches) kasi madaling gawin.

Next, nagcrochet ako ng flower. Gusto ko sana flower na umaangat ang petals pero eto, mukhang doily ang lumabas.

I sewed it on my denim shorts. Sabi ni Spanky, mukha raw pang-macho dancer shorts ko. Hindi naman ah. Pam-boho chick nga eh.

And of course, nag-attempt ako gumawa ng crochet earrings for Abidude. Pero after an hour of wearing it, natanggal sa hook ang crocheted thingy. Hindi matibay. Kailangan pang mag-practice. Sabi ni mommy, mukha raw akong may bilao sa tainga, hehe.

important announcement

2006-10-14T15:27:00.002+08:00

May blog na ulit si SPANKY! At aba, hindi sinasabi sa akin. Nagpapa-cool at hard-to-get; hinihintay na madiskubre ko on my own hehe. o etong sa yo! Basahin n'yo...biliiis! Habang nag-uupdate pa siya :) (peace, spanks.)

poison pen

2006-10-10T17:56:00.000+08:00

Too much journaling is bad fer ya.

So reads an article I saw in some random mag. Studies show that people who spend too much time writing in their journals are more likely to be depressed and "unable to move on."

Of course, keeping a journal has always been believed to be therapeutic but in the article, some guy who was famous for his journals agrees to the recent studies and says, "Everything in moderation." (Even love and faith?)

I'm a big fan of keeping journals; I've done so eversince the 5th grade. I've been feeling down these last couple of days (I've been writing in my journal everyday) so I've decided to bury my journal in its secret place and see if I feel better.

d' mokong's

2006-10-02T16:13:00.000+08:00

Wish I had photos to post but lazy moi, didn't bring Spanky's camera during the Mekong workshop.

Anyway, just wanted to eat my words. I super enjoyed the three-week workshop despite 1) losing my phone in a sari sari store in Davao (I got it back after 2 days...long story), 2) our audio in the shoot totally destroyed (good thing we had a back up in the micro casette) and 3) turning 30 (watched a Popong Landero concert that night so it was all good).

My point is, you never know when you're gonna have fun.

And on the last night of the workshop (this is cheezy), d' mokong's (title care of froggy) performed (in katutubo costumes) No Rain (Blind Melon) and Kapayapaan (Tropical Depression). Kumpleto instruments namin--2 guitars, k-hon, an Israeli drum, a rainstick, shakers, and a harmonica. Wow, dream come true for me hehe. I've always wanted to perform in a band.

eat the greek

2006-09-06T14:38:00.000+08:00

One of the most impractical but fun-nest things Spanky and I've ever done is to go all the way to Tagaytay just to have lunch. He chanced upon Greek Taverna in one of his blog-hopping sprees and it seemed like the perfect huling hirit before I launched into my 3-week raket.

It's not an intimidating resto, as you can see. But I think it's the perfect date place because it's cozy and intimate. Ang kwela dito, may Greek radio station sa background. As in may news, rap song, commercials--hehe, sounds Greek to me! We think it's pre-recorded.

As soon as you sit down, the server asks if you're a first-timer. If you say yes, she gives you a handful of newspaper clippings about the resto. Handle them with care kasi parang mapupunit na yung iba. Lalapitan din kayo ng owner (pero hindi sya hassle, promise) to make some recommendations and to inform you that their food has no "preservatives, artificial color or flavor, vetsin or mantika!" He uses 100% extra-virgin olive oil (di ba mantika din yun?) imported from his plantation in Greece. Siyempre impressed kami!

Greek salad- forgot the technical term. As usual, forgot to take notes dahil busy sa pagnguya. I liked it kasi feeling ko, I was finally able to taste yung mga napapanuod ko sa lifestyle network. Panalo ang feta cheese, lettuce, sweet onions at tomatoes.

Mousaka chuva. At least I remembered the first word. Spanky thought it was like shepherd's pie pero mas masarap. I recommend eating it with their home-baked bread para solb at busug-busugan.

Grilled Chicken grilled by the owner himself. In the menu, there's a lengthy explanation of Greek food and why it's healthy. Kasi it doesn't use artificial flavor, food is usually grilled, and of course it uses olive oil. We ordered this 'coz we were kurips; ginive-up namin yung lamb (best-seller nila). Pero nagsisi din kami. Chicken is chicken. After drizzling it with calamansi, we had the urge to order toyo and suka para chicken inasal na talaga.

Pero bumawi naman sa dessert.

Baklava cake. Pangarap ko nang matikman ito nung nabasa ko sa Bobbsey Twins many many years ago. It kinda reminds me of fruit cake (I like super moist fruit cakes) 'coz of the dried, glazed fruits. I thought it would have a hard crust pero soft pala. It's a perfect ending to a healthy lunch. (naks)

Reasonable naman yung prices. We paid less than P700 for everythang. Pero syempre, di pa kami nakuntento. On our way home, we stopped by our fave pasalubong shop. Rowena's!

Sarap ng crumbly tarts nila! Iba't ibang flavors--may apple, pineapple, blueberry, mango, ube. Busog!

commercial

2006-09-02T16:03:00.000+08:00

You can check out excerpt here.

Other Haribon-published children's books are:

Story by: Astrid Tobias
Illustrations by: Jomike Tejido

by Jomike Tejido

From what I understand, these books will be distributed to children in barrios to raise environmental awareness. Proceeds of book sales will go to Haribon projects.

To order, e-mail: order@haribon.org.ph. My friend also saw them at the Children's Section of National Bookstore in Podium. :)

nerjak post

2006-09-01T12:29:00.000+08:00

Since 2 weeks ago when I had the measles, I've been making up for lost time by devouring books. Maski gaano kasakit na ang ulo ko sa kakabasa, sige pa rin nang sige. At meron akong nadiskubre!

I came across 3 books (all for young adults/children) na may reference to to our beloved Pilipinas.

Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
by Roald Dahl
When Willy Wonka was trying to fool the US President into thinking that he didn't speak English, he started talking gibberish. And the President called his Chief Translator and said something like, "What language is it? It's Tagalog! Or Ungro right?" And the Chief Translator shook his head, "It's neither Tagalog nor Ungro."

A Wind in the Door
by Madeleine L'engle
When Doctor Louise was talking about her experience with snakes, she recounted her trip to the Philippine Jungle where there were boa constrictors.

The Secret of Platform 13
by Eva Ibbotson
When the boy's grandma was in a nursing home, she was delighted to find out that the nurse-on-duty was "Celeste, that nice nurse from the Philippines." Unlike the other nurses, Celeste was always smiling, very patient, and always wore a flower over her right ear.

From these portrayals of Pinoy chorvas, I therefore conclude na tingin sa atin ng mga dayuhan ay:
1) Tagalog is an exotic language.
2) Precious ang ating forests. (kaya dapat pangalagaan)
3) Mababait ang mga Pinay nurses. / Maraming Pinay nurses sa England.

Siyangapala, photos courtesy of amazon.com.

Yay yey vonnel

2006-08-30T15:35:00.001+08:00

Artwork by Spanky
Batangas June 2006

Last day at my season-long stint. It was one of the most (the most) difficult shows I had to EP, not because of the workload or the crew, but because of the big C. Or big K. Kli-yen-te.

Now that I know the diff between Executive Producer and Executive Director, and have made the all-important-chargen-change, I can rest easy. I'm watching one of my fave shows, America's Next Top Model right now. I still like Nicole from Season 4, and she was in the top 5 (?) but Tyra cut her off 'coz she "lacked personality." I like models with short hair 'coz I have short hair!

Next week, it's a month-long facilitating job with the mokongs. I'm going to play nanny to the Myanmar group!

moi, mwah!

2006-08-27T12:19:00.000+08:00

Spanky tells me to update. Nagsalita ang nag-uupdate hehe.

Anyway, so excited because Canvas texted me yesterday that they're going to make SOL into a fully-illustrated book! Yehey!

Oh menn, joined the contest last year and I didn't win the grand prize. Of course, Becky's story deserved it. :) I remember writing in my journal on the day they were going to announce the winner-- I proclaimed, "I am going to win the 2005 Canvas writing for children contest and SOL will be made into a wonderful book with wonderful illustrations!!!" Of course, hindi naman nagkatotoo. (I was tapping into the "visualization is the first step in achieving your goal" mantra chorva.) I even drew a mock cover of my "suppposed book" and wrote:

Story by: Agay C. Llanera
Paintings by: Elmer Borlongan

Hehe, kapalmuks nga. But you can't stop a girl from wishing.

Sabi ko nga kay Augie, "Ito na ang premyo ko after countless losses in writing contests." 'Coz really, I join the Palanca and the PBBY every year pero parati akong Ow-lats. Sabi niya lang, "Asus, sali lang nang sali."

Sooooh, that text yesterday was totally unexpected. And an up-and-coming artist, Marcel Antonio has agreed to do the illustrations. I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it!

2005-09-28T08:37:00.000+08:00

My story's here! :) The other stories are really nice. You can e-mail the org for your comments.

2005-09-21T18:43:00.000+08:00

Things that I got yesterday:

1) an eat-all-you-can lunch at Saisaki with Spanky
2) brand new spankin' Tribu sandals, artsy craftsy frame with memorabe photos, a psssst card, 2 shirts, blank CDs and a license plate frame (stainless steel, chong!)
3) a nice, long hug
4) lotsa texts and friendster messages
5) dinner with family at A Venetto
6) a headache after eating so much
7) unneeded flab
8) 3 answered calls (Benj, Maey and JJ)
9) expiration of my license
10) a birthday

Thanks to everyone who remembered :)

Oh, and for a pre-birthday gift, I got this. My Cristina doesn't have an h though.

2005-09-14T10:52:00.000+08:00

If you think this shirt is cute, please check this out. :)

2005-08-07T15:00:00.000+08:00

I haven't blogged for a while because...
a) there's nothing exciting to tell
b) i've been thinking that blogging is pointless
c) i've been angsty and i don't want to post something arghus.

so now, i'm in the middle of writing a story. my deadline is tomorrow and i'm not even halfway through with it. but i'm soooooo happy that i'm finally writing a book. that's the greatest! i don't know yet if my story will suck (i hope not) but i'm so psyched with the idea. :) :) :)

i've always dreamed of having a children's book. thanks to kuting for this opportunity.

and for the downer, i lost again in the Palanca awards. i was actually depressed for a day or two. but bounce back, i must. maybe i'll join again next year. hehe, masochistic me.

Minding my own Business

2005-06-30T07:03:00.000+08:00

Went to Makati yesterday morning to peddle my blouses. I had so-so sales. On the way there, I was secretly laughing at myself for going all the way to (dreaded) Makati just to sell. Is this really me?

But offices really are the prime spots for selling. Just show your goods to one person, and people will flock to see what you've got. You can sell 10 items on the spot. Last week, I dropped off some goods at a gym (a friend who worked there volunteered to sell for me) and in just 2 days, the items were almost completely wiped out! Nahiya naman ako for her effort so I gave her a free blouse. :)

At this stage, nego-negosyo is the only thing I'm interested in doing. It's the only thing I'm willing to exert effort on. Spanky and I have projects in mind and as soon as we have things up and running, mega-promotion na ang gagawin ko.

Naka naman. Parang totoo, hehe.

Yeth Books!

2005-06-18T08:01:00.000+08:00

My brother felt he couldn't stand another day just staying in the house (he had an operation for his knee injury and has been on house arrest for 3 weeks) so yesterday, I drove him and my mom to the mall. All he wanted to do was browse in Booksale. Aaah, simple pleasures.

So I did my own browsing (with some heckling in the background c/o Tambutso) and I bought 3 books, with me spending less than P200.

1. Skylark by Patricia MacLachlan (sequel to Sarah, Plain and Tall)
2. Behind the Attic Wall by Sylvia Cassedy
3. Catherine, called Birdy by Karen Cushman

Hehe, I've always wanted to write a list of books in my blog. It makes me feel so literary. :)

But truth is, I can't read adult books. I simply don't understand them and sometimes, they get so boring and winding. So I read books for young adults.

I bought Hexwood by Dianne Wynne Jones (one of my fave authors of fantasy) and it was sooooo nice. I just finished it last night and I think it sustained me for the 2 days I've been reading it. Escape is good, sometimes.

*********************

On selling matters--just after I've written in my blog that I was into selling, I suddenly found myself sick of it. Grrrr. Changeable me. But I'm regaining my energy.

And some people who ordered don't seem to be interested to get their orders anymore. They don't answer my texts. Very inconsiderate of them.

I should just do 'em

2005-06-16T08:27:00.000+08:00

...instead of blabbering my fabulous plans. I find that when I do the latter before the fomer, I don't get around putting them to action. So for now, I'll keep my plans to myself.

*********************

Pusakal Haiku

Paurong-sulong
Biglang tawid patungong
kabilang-buhay

On our way to Batangas earlier this month, we encountered a huge amount of roadkill. And I'm not just talking about the usual cats. There were even askals lying in the middle of the road, guts bursting out. Roadkill dogs made death seem more real than roadkillcats. Probably 'coz they're bigger and well, unexpected.

Pet Peeve

2005-06-11T08:36:00.000+08:00

I hate it when I hear a song and a part of it sounds like some song I've already heard. Michael Learns to Rock has the same, old chords for almost all of their songs (try singing 25 Minutes Too Late to Paint my Love; they're practically interchangeable), but at least they copy their own songs.

Take this song I've been hearing on the radio, for example. When I first heard it, I thought I was listening to a Silverchair song I heard a couple of years ago. But of course, it turned out to be some new ditty from some new band. And I thought, Ano ba yan. Garapalan na. Hindi lang chords ang ginaya, pati melody. And I thought Silverchair would sue them for sure or something.

When I tuned in to MTV this morning, I found out something worse.

The copycat band was Pinoy.

Grrrr. Mas lalo akong nainis.

Malamang hindi sila madedemanda kasi malayo silang marinig ng Silverchair. I just hope they didn't copy on purpose.

Sell-out

2005-06-02T09:50:00.000+08:00

This week, selling has been my savior. It kept me occupied. It kept me sane.

Those Drew Barrymore tees, jogging pants and shorts were my constant companions. I took them for rides all over Q.C. and showed them to friends and acquaintances. Sure, they took up all the space in the backseat of my car, but they did a good job at being substitutes for passengers.

Most of the time, I feel alive and busy. But sometimes panic sets in, and I think, can I really sell all this stuff? Good thing, my supplier, my good friend Teena is open to consignment. And I can just return the goods I wasn't able to sell. But I'm being hard on myself. I must sell everything!

I'm getting addicted to this. I need a life.

Rationing Emotions

2005-06-01T08:26:00.000+08:00

I wish someone came up with a life manual so I'd know if I'm living right. Sometimes, I feel that instead of actually living my life, I'm watching myself live it and I keep tabs on my rights and wrongs. Does that make any sense? It's as if I'm apart from myself and the public self is just some sort of separate entity that I try to mold and remold, not knowing its (my) real identity.

Anyway, that Jack Nicholson flick, As good as it gets, has always bothered me. Is this really as good as it gets? That you just shrug off your lofty ideals and be immersed in the nitty, gritty, this-was-not-what-I-expected life? How do you know if there's something better out there or this is as good as it gets?

I am walking on a bridge

And I am over the water

And I'm scared as hell

But I know there's something better

- Me by Paula Cole

I remember when I submitted my final Philo paper in college. The professor (who was a priest, I forgot his name) commented on my paper, "Nararamdaman ko na hinahanap mo ang balanse sa pagitan ng idealismo at realismo. Mahalaga ito!" Well, I don't know if I've found that delicate balance. Sometimes I think I catch a glimpse of it, but mostly, it's still a struggle.

I don't want to get too deep here, but it's all been bothering me lately.

Write Stuff

2005-05-27T06:37:00.000+08:00

I really, really, really would like to see my story published in a book. As in, I'm aching for it. I hope it happens this year. I'm taking steps to achieve this goal, but things are happening too slow. Or maybe I'm just impatient. I've even gotten a rejection letter from a publishing company weeks ago, but strangely enough, I wasn't discouraged. Just a bit miffed, maybe.

On some days, I think there's nothing else I want to do but to gather material for stories and just sit down and write, write, write. But on other days, writing is the last thing I ever want to do.

I guess it's obvious which day I'm having now.

2005-05-20T17:48:00.000+08:00

Self Surprise

2005-05-20T16:23:00.001+08:00

I've always detested selling. For me I've pictured selling as forcing (or more nicely put, convincing) people that whatever you're offering is actually a basic need. I can never be that convincing. So for me, a career in business (or selling) was out of the question.

Enter life after Probe. Spanky and I thought of putting up Monsterbites. Fast forward to a year later. Yes, we're still making sandwiches, but I don't think we're really actively marketing it. We've pared down our sandwich making to once a week, supplying to the same badminton place we've been catering to for a year. The business (which was supposed to be our main source of income) became our sideline. Heck, we earn more by being employees.

But a week ago, meeting my highschool friend changed my perspective. She had designed some blouses and because of her unexpected pregancy, she needed help in selling them. And I surprised myself by volunteering my services. This meant real selling. As in going to friends and showing the shirts and convincing them to buy. Was I up for that?

Now these shirts (more like blouses with t-shirt material) have low necklines. I never wear those types. I'm more of the standard baby-tee girl. But when I tried selling, I had to wear one of these shirts to show how they looked like. With a trusty push-up bra underneath, I sold those shirts. I mustered enough courage to actually wear plunging! And guess what, I didn't look too bad.

Now, I have sold 7 shirts and have orders for 17 more. Looks good on paper, but actually when I've computed my earnings, they only amount to my gas fare for a week. Oh well. But the more important thing is I've realized that I can actually sell. And selling is not an entirely evil thing. I do get fulfillment from having satisfied customers. And those blouses do look purty.

Needing some Kneading

2005-05-10T09:01:00.000+08:00

I feel like I want to stay in bed all day. I always feel this way after over-sleeping. Last night, I was in bed at 7 pm and 15 minutes later, I was blissfully in dreamland. Blame it on the massage, I say.

Yesterday, after my meeting in Makati, I decided to check out the full-body massage of Urban Oasis, a hole-in-the-wall spa somewhere in Teacher's Village. (Yes, I'll forever be a Q.C. girl) I've been massage-less for several months now, actually close to a year. Two days ago, my mom and I planned to have a massage-- my treat 'coz it was Mother's day. But when we called up Aling Tere (a home-service masseuse for only P200), we found out that she broke her arm and is undergoing operation. But her daughter assured us that she'll be back in business in a week. A one-handed massage? Hmm, I don't think so.

So I went to the Q.C. house-turned-spa and tried out their "therapeutic massage." It was pricier but at that moment, it was worth it. Massages, for me, are therapeutic not just because they knead the knotted muscles, but also because...well, I just like being lovingly touched. Well, of course the masseuse didn't really "love" me but her palms had such a tender way of rhythmically smoothing out my tired body. It seemed that her hands were saying, "Relax. We're here to take care of you. We won't hurt you." One time, when I was in Sonia's garden, in the middle of a back massage, I could feel my eyes filling up with tears. Just because the massage felt so loving. Aah, the healing power of touch. Drama extraordinare.

So today, I'm totally relaxed. Too relaxed that the fact that no one has posted in my tagboard doesn't bother me at all.

Rrrrrrrright.

2005-05-05T19:10:00.000+08:00

Walang paalam na isinuot. Buti hindi napunit--regalo ko pa man din sa inaanak ko.

Back in the Bloggin' Game

2005-05-05T17:20:00.000+08:00

So I haven't posted for over a month. But it doesn't mean na walang nangyayari sa akin. Ito ang mga natutunan ko sa nakaraang buwan.

1. Ang sarap-sarap ng halo-halo ng Razon sa Pampanga. Alam mo yun, walang masyadong sahog, yung tipong OA na sahog, pero malinamnam pa rin. Meron lang siyang saging, niyog, leche flan, milk at ayon nga kay Spanky, isang special, secret ingredient. Ano kaya yun?

2. Kaya ko palang magtrabaho para sa pera. Yun na yun. How else can you explain working in a government company for the past 7 months? Pero yun nga, magre-replay yung show ng isang season, so hindi ako kikita for mga 2 months, unless tumanggap ng segment producer (gasp!) duties.

3. Pag may nakita kang isang bagay na gustong-gusto mo at may pera ka naman, bilhin mo na! Goodbye, Zero 7 sa Li Jiang. Bibili ba ako ngayon sa halagang P500 o ibuburn ko na lang yung kay Abi? Problema, ayaw tumugtog ng pirated ang cd player ko.

4. Hindi na pareho ang metabolism ko ngayon compared to last year. Dati, maski kumain ako nang marami today, gigising ako with a flat stomach. Nowadays, pag kumain ako ng kaunti today, gigising ako with a preggy stomach. Ngayon pa naman ako nag-iipon ng lakas na loob na mag-two piece. Unfair talaga.

5. Posibleng hindi matupad ang pangarap kong magperform with a band. Lalo na't kung wala akong ginagawang mga hakbang patungo rito. Gusto ko, rhythm guitar. Pero nawala na yung mga dating kalyo sa daliri gawa ng pagtugtog ng mga complicated chords.

6. Nagtatrabaho ako sa TV pero hindi ako mahilig manood ng TV. Actually, dati ko pa ito alam. Gusto ko lang isulat kasi aliw. Mas gusto kong magbasa ng libro.

7. KSP pala ako. Pacool-cool lang ako dati pero deep inside, naku, baby rin pala. Yakker.

So bakit nagpopost na ako ng tagalog? Alaskado na naman ako kay Spanky nito. Kasi feel ko lang. Parang mino-mock ko ang sarili kong blog. Enjoy naman. :)

2005-04-05T07:54:00.000+08:00

Listening to Tori Amos' Beekeeper album which I bought from Kunming, China for only 9 yuan (equivalent to around 70 pesos ata). Wish I bought that Zero 7 album we saw in Li Jiang, but they were selling it for 15 yuan, un-haggle-able. Ask my travel buddies (Jing, JO, JJ and Abi) what song I was constantly singing during our 2-week stay in Vietnam and China, and they would unanimously say "Zero 7!" Actually Zero 7 is the artist; the song is "In Time." It perfectly summed up how I felt that time.

All the words are calling
Got time on my own
There's no destination
Wondering whether I'll feel it again
Take my hands off the wheel
Coz there's nowhere else to go
Take some time, just hang around a while
Like to sit this silent moment out
I don't wanna lose or let you down
Time's just gonna change itself around

I felt like I was a nomad, always on the go, with my backpack, with friendship as my one certainty. We travelled via bus, by train, by plane, by a small Vietnamese boat. And these were long trips-- 15 hours, 10 hours, 8 hours. Time flowed. I felt like I couldn't be tied down at any one place yet I felt I belonged everywhere. It felt exhilirating to be different. I did feel homesick, but I think I discovered that home can be found anywhere.

In Dali, (a province in Yunnan, China) an elderly Chinese couple adopted us because no one spoke English. On my plane ride to Ho Chi Minh from Hanoi, I sat beside an 80-year-old Vietnamese gentleman who couldn't figure out how to buckle up his seatbelt. I helped him and patiently listened to his stories (even though I did not understand) because I wanted to give back what the elderly Chinese couple has given to us.

Some nights ago, I have come back and re-connected with things and people familiar. There is bliss in going away and discovering nuggets of wisdom; but there is also bliss in coming home.

But at the back of my mind, I'm raring to go out there again.

Shenti

2005-02-24T18:27:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wish I don't remember things well. I don't know why I remember small details (while I forget the more important stuff) in everyday things. I'm like this memory-keeper who's burdened with remembering stuff others have forgotten. And it sucks to be so affected by all these little things because then it makes me wonder-- do I have a life?

I love it when, for a change, I don't remember the name of the familiar-looking person who has greeted me in the mall. When the greeter (or the greetee) doesn't remember my name, sometimes I pretend I don't remember hers (or his) either--when in fact, I can recall a dozen details about her, casually dropped in some past, random conversation.

I admit, I forget a whole lot of other things. But I remember that at 3 years old, I looked up at the window, and gazed at our papaya tree in our yard. It was dusk, and the tree was being slowly engulfed by shadow. And as I froze that instant, I remember vowing to myself that I'd always remember that moment no matter what. And everyday, I practiced remembering it until I didn't have to practice anymore.

I guess I learned how to remember things too soon.

Cling Clang

2005-02-24T18:13:00.001+08:00

I've become so clingy, I can't stand it. What in the world has happened to me? I used to be all ice and steel. Oh sure, I got fazed or devastated, but at least I didn't show it. Now, I bare my soul without meaning to, and my emotions get the better of me.

It's hard to learn new things. But sometimes, I think it's harder to re-learn things. Nonchalance perchance. Me, of all people. I won the Deadma Queen Award in our College CommRoast for cripes' sake!

But I guess I'm relieved that I am capable of changing.

Buzzzzz

2005-02-02T07:52:00.001+08:00

I've been very busy this past month. Last night, I've just finished a tiring edit and this morning, I'm waiting for the grocery store to open so I can rush in and buy ingredients for our sandwiches. Once the sandwiches are made and delivered, I will rush to a meeting then finally, to the badminton game later tonight.

I've been very busy with work and right now, planning trips. Yehey! Boracay, Bohol, Vietnam and China! Hope they'll all push through! Of course, indulging in travel would not only mean spending, but also losing money, since I'll be giving up work days which are opportunities to earn. *Sigh* That's how freelance work works! But I'd like to think I deserve all that travel.

Here's to being part of the workforce!

Happy Happy People

2005-01-16T13:44:00.000+08:00

Happiness is not just doing what you like, but also liking what you do.

So after resigning from my job on New Year’s Day at 2 am due to JO’s Christmas gift (Hope for the Flowers book), regretting my decision for weeks, saying yes to another job (which was supposed to start tomorrow), finding out from G that I can still go back to my job, spending a sleepless night last Friday choosing between the two jobs, I. Am. Finally. Back. To. My. Old. Job.

Oh yeth. I am amazed at how indecisive I can be sometimes. I didn’t use to be like this. When I was younger, I knew what I wanted. But now, I find myself, doing the opposite of what I (used to) believe in. I adjust. I play it by ear. I shrug my shoulders. I make mistakes.

I quit my job because I felt I wasn’t happy in it. Though I was earning good pay, working 3 times a week, and still have lots of free time, I still looked for the passion, that euphoric high, that perfect set-up I felt in 5 and up.

Ibaba mo na sa pedestal ang 5 and up na yan! J admonished when we had one of our merienda sessions. Sure. How can I not moon over the best three years of my life in that job? After 5 and up, I felt I had a clear definition of a job. A job is supposed to fulfill all of my life’s aspects—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and not necessarily financially. I realize now after 3 years, that’s just too much to ask from a job—and that salary is also an important factor.

I overheard M telling K that she wants to quit her job and leap into the unknown because she was no longer happy. I listened to K as she explained (quite firmly but motherly) to M that a job doesn’t promise happiness. It promises to give you something to do and to pay you for it, but it doesn’t guarantee fulfillment. It’s up to the employee to find happiness in it. Or as J’s forwarded message put it, it’s up to the employee to discover her “job’s soul.”

I finally take responsibility for my happiness. I choose to be happy— starting with this job. And if choices shape our identity, then I am hopeful this will really be a happy new year for me.

Pixie Trixie

2005-01-09T16:54:00.000+08:00

(photo from this site)

Oh, how I miss my Trixie Belden books! My mom gave most of my copies on my 11th birthday (one was given by my grade school best bud, Michelle from whom I've heard about the book) and I've read and re-read them since. But adulthood got in the way and I saw these mystery novels as dust-gatherers, and after leaving 5 and up, I donated them to the Museo Pambata traveling library. Oh well, it's all for a good cause. I hope kids are enjoying the books as much as I did.

Last week in BookSale, I chanced upon a copy which I haven't read, and I immediately bought it for just 35 pesos. I plan to rebuild my collection and pass them on to my kids (or the kid in me).

If you haven't heard of Trixie Belden, just trust me on this one: she's way more interesting and dimensional than Nancy Drew. I've just finished the book and it sent me on a googling frenzy for Trixie-- hence, the above photo.

She's spunky, tomboyish, hot-headed and intuitive-- all in a blond, short curly-haired, blue-eyed package of a thirteen year old. Not bad for a female character written in the male-dominated 1940s.

New Year Goalie

2005-01-09T09:47:00.000+08:00

travel as much as I can
earn and save more than
i spend and waste
not make haste

love and laugh
arts and craft
with words create
a story great

patience and restraint
shed pounds gained
to myself be known
being still and alone

to learn to ask for
things loved and adored
here and now
everybody sayaw

Janus Joplin

2004-12-31T17:45:00.000+08:00

In a couple of hours, this year will end. But even when January starts, the year really won’t be over. Janus (I just read this somewhere so facts may be sketchy), the literally two-faced god from which January is derived, has one face looking back and the other looking forward. January is that transitional month when we tie up loose ends from the past, then finally cut ties with it to face the future. And being caught between the past and the future is exactly how I feel now.

Oh, it’s not too dramatic. It only concerns a job. Right, just a job. Some of us might just shrug off job matters, saying it’s just part of life and not your whole life. Some of us may complain about our jobs often, even to the point of bragging, and just try to get the most of it by partying or buying expensive things. But I think we should treat a job like it’s really a part of our lives—part of our happiness.

I look at my older brother and see how he loathes his job, but still hangs on to it because he has a family. I see his anger, his frustration, but most of all, I see his fear.

When I ask him if he wants to change his career, he says yes, but immediately shrugs his shoulders and sighs. He feels it’s too late for a change. I think for one to have a happy life, one must be happy with his or her job.

Which brings me to my simple dilemma, which doesn’t sound quite as simple right now. Should I keep the high-paying, unliked job and be emotionally unfulfilled but have money and security for the rest of the year? Or should I, once again, take a leap of faith and believe that there is something out there better for me?

I am Janus sitting on a fence. But I think I already have the answer before I've even recognized it.

Oh well, here's to 2004--the swiftest year I've ever experienced! I'd like to think it flew because I had fun. :)

Christmas 2004

2004-12-24T17:58:00.000+08:00

Last night at our annual Yakker barkada Christmas party, I tuned out and concentrated on watching "13 going on 30" on DVD. I was in my own world, laughing and crying at those pretty, little scenes while everyone else chattered, ate, and giggled. Now, I'm not quite sure why I did that or why I felt like doing that. But for sure, I felt content and happy.

It wasn't because I didn't like the crowd; in fact, they were my favorite people in the planet. But last night--I don't know-- maybe I was tired from the whole day shopping or the flick was so engaging, but I just felt like doing my own thing.

It's hard to do your own thing during the holiday season, when you're at the mercy of parties galore and Christmas traditions. You have to do this, go to that place, buy a gift for whomever-- the list just goes on. Of course there are also the nice things, like you get to see your friends, eat all that yummy food, and buy clothes and shoes with your Christmas bonus. But really, sometimes I feel like I'm forced to enjoy eating all that food, or to scour the tiangges just in case I find another potential gift.

Enough is enough. And I guess, last night, the real me forced herself out of all that colorful Christmas mess and longed to be quiet. For sure, it was all in bad timing because I was with my treasured friends, but in a way, I'm happy that it happened when I was with them. Because I knew that at that moment, I'd rather be surrounded by their happy noise than anything else.

Workin' and (close to) Lovin' it

2004-12-18T15:43:00.001+08:00

And I'm still wondering how my attitude towards work suddenly made a complete turn-around. After my sickness, work suddenly became a breeze. And I don't know which changed-- my work or me.

Well, I guess it helped that our boss was out of the country and being the irresponsible E.P. that I am, I didn't initiate any post-mortem meetings wherein colleagues can comment on the show and make suggestions on how to improve it. Those meetings almost always add to my duties because I'm in charge of assembling the show. Also, I treated it as a full-time job, instead of its promised "freelance" nature so even if I had to work everyday, I didn't complain.

When the checks started rolling in, I found that I could gain fulfillment from earning money. But still, there must be something in my job that I enjoy. I must admit, after a whole day of assembling an episode, I do feel strangely fulfilled instead of feeling burned out.

I just hope this feeling lasts.

An Old Flame Rekindled

2004-12-03T10:36:00.000+08:00

Last night, while making sandwiches, my cellphone's keypad went berserk. I could receive messages but I couldn't read them because the buttons refused to function. So I drove home with a useless phone amidst typhoon Yoyong's impending wrath.

When I got home, I tried to fix my phone in candlelight (it was brown out) but to no avail. Worse, one of the keypad's buttons fell off. I was feeling very frustrated so I unearthed my old battery-less Nokia 3310 from my drawer, thinking that I could borrow my mom's phone battery (she uses a 3315) so I could at least read my text messages. Well, my mom's phone was fairly new and with all my might, I couldn't remove the stubborn case to retrieve her battery.

Sighing in frustration, I got my dysfunctional phone's battery, which was a lot smaller, and tried to fit it in my chunky 3310. And whaddyaknow, it worked! I just crumpled up bits of newspaper and filled up the space to make the small battery snug and stable inside my old phone. Within seconds, I was texting away.

I didn't sleep right away last night because I kept fawning over my old 3310, re-exploring its menu and admiring its sturdiness. Sure, it's an outdated phone, but it's still reliable. I've had it for 3 years and only changed it when its battery conked out last July. Suddenly, old memories were re-awakened, and the phone became a landmark of past events. I used it when I was still in 5 and up, when Spanky and I were still in the pa-cute stage, when I went to Batanes, when I was agonizing over Art is-kool duties, etc. I realized that my phone and I had gone through a lot.

Until now, I still can't stop marveling at my new, old phone. I feel like I've reunited with an old friend, or with an old flame. After a 4-month fling with a slicker, more high tech phone, I've realized that the simple, quiet things last longer than the flashy ones.

Recovering

2004-11-22T09:59:00.000+08:00

Last week, for almost the entire week, I was plagued with fever which literally gave me the chills. At 12 noon, while the sun was high and mighty, I was huddled at the corner of my room, in pajamas, zip-up jacket, socks, and covered in a blanket. And I was still shivering. It turned out I had a relapse of tonsilitis and a touch of UTI.

Yesterday was the first day I didn't have a fever. Oh, joyous day! But admittedly, I still felt weak and I had to lie down every so often.

But I realize that I get bored easily. So I've begun wrapping mom's gifts--though the breaks are longer than the actual work 'coz I also get tired easily.

It's easy to blame the sickness on the job. After all, I don't like the job. And I really think it stressed me out. But I also blame my "Go, go, go!" spirit. Like I said, this was a relapse. I had tonsilitis probably a month ago, the same time I had my 2-week cough. But I chose to ignore it. I still played badminton, attended late-night parties, and went full-force in my job.

So now, I know better, especially regarding my job. I just hope I'll remember to apply what I've learned and found out. And these are:

1. Delegate, delegate, delegate.
2. Do what you have to do then rest.
3. You don't have to answer every job-related text or call.
4. Train people to figure out things on their own.
5. This is not a one-woman show. (And I am not that woman.)
6. Say you can't do it when you can't (or don't want to) do it.
7. It's ok to screw up once in a while.

Because this job ain't worth my health.